My Soul To Take A Massive Shit Over Film

Oh, Wes Craven. At this point, Scream 4 has already been released and you slightly redeemed yourself for My Soul To Take.

Okay, where to begin? Let's start with a bunch of dipshit film executives who were eating breakfast at Urth Cafe and said, "Hey! Let's force a legend in horror filmmaking to post-produce his film into 3D, it'll be so awesome, lulz!" Trust me, they did the "lulz" thing.

I would say about 2.7% of this film looked good in 3D. That 2.7% consisted of an ambulance crashing and that's about it. Nothing says, "Fuck yeah 3D!" like a scene in the Principal's office where two people are talking for five minutes. At least cop out and do the basic thing: throw shit directly at the camera. Not shit, but objects. Knives, axes, organs, maybe some boobs. Whatever, just make stuff fly at my face so I duck and go "holy shit that boob almost hit me in the face! Fuck yeah, 3D!".

No, instead we have useless 3D that adds absolutely nothing to the movie. I'm all for horror in 3D(Drive Angry: Shot in 3D, My Bloody Valentine 3D), but this was just terrible.

On to the movie. A bunch of kids are born premature when a man with multiple personalities dies. One of these personalities is a killer and has been born into one of these kids. Eighteen years later, they start getting picked off by a guy in a costume with a pretty cool knife.

Cool premise, supremely shitty execution. The only thing I found interesting was a social structure in the high school. There's a group of bitchy teenaged girls that run the show and hand down punishments for different infractions.

The lead character, Bug, thinks he might be the killer. Obviously, he isn't because that would be way too interesting and creative. Instead, it's some other dipshit kid that nobody would ever suspect because of how small and pussy-like he is.

The kills were boring and mediocre. The only kill that was funny involed the kid that hands out punishments for the girls. He got a girl pregnant and as he's being stabbed, the killer asks "Any Goodbyes?" and he says "Yes, to my unborn child". The killer finishes his business and says, "Fuck your unborn fucking child". I think we all know why this is hilarious and none of my explanation is necessary. Good job killer. That idiot jock would make a terrible father and would probably eventually abandon his family when he finally accepted his homosexuality.

All in all, it's sad to see such a mistake from Wes Craven. Maybe he's really losing that horror edge he had for so many years. Scream 4 was marginally better than this movie. More on that later. Skip this one, unless it's on HBO or something, so you can see all the blood.